Parental Love
There are no perfect parents, but most of us truly love our kids unconditionally and always want the best for them. Yet, we make mistakes because we, ourselves, grow up with pain from our parents too, who also grew up in imperfect homes. There is a spiritual battle going on that we need to recognize, as believers.
The only way to really move on is to realize this fact, that nobody is raised in a perfect environment. God’s grace is new every morning. His command to forgive 70 times 7 toward each offense is not unrealistic but sometimes difficult depending on the situation.
Add onto this, the trauma of a divorce with kids in our mix. We need to take a breath…. and know that we are not the only ones that go through it and need to learn from it.
I was married at the age of 18 while pregnant. I went to a Christian high school and grew up in the church with a heart after God but after graduation, I went on my merry way and moved out to move to NYC with my cousins. They were good to me but I fell away from Jesus and my faith as a young adult. I met a neighbor of my cousin in the Bronx and we started messing around. I never fell in love with him but decided to get married anyway. I don’t regret my decision because my kids are such a blessing to me and I would never want to change the fact they are mine. I just was not fully there, mentally or emotionally, as a mom being so young. I loved them but I just wasn’t ready to pay attention.
After 14 years of marriage and 4 kids, we began going to counseling which led our counselor to suggest that we separate temporarily. He refused to leave, so I went to stay with my sister. I told him I would come back to the house daily to make sure the kids were ok while he was at work. One day, while the kids were in school, I came to the house and my neighbor told me she saw him take my clothes from the closet into his car. I checked the closet and all my clothes were gone along with a check from our tenant who was renting our first home in Philly. My ex took that check for himself and did not pay the mortgage. He didn’t use the money to feed his kids or make sure the electric was on. We lost that house to foreclosure.
I decided I needed to come back and I changed the locks on the front door. He broke the window while I was at work, so I then had to file court order for him not to come back without me knowing. He left for his Mom’s house but didn’t tell me. We then lost our main home to foreclosure shortly after that. I had apply for child support and we moved to an apartment in NJ where my new job was. My kids went through much trauma at that time due to all the craziness they saw. I wish it didn’t happen that way, but he just was not doing the right thing at the time.
It’s a sad story but a year and a half later, I met my now husband, Eric and we have been together since 2001. Married over 22 years to an amazing man that I am so grateful for.
